Battle of the Bulge Part I: Learning to Love Water and Saying Goodbye to an Old Friend

 To an adolescent boy in the early 90s Tim Burton’s Batman was the tits. Many others have surpassed it since but back then it was THE superhero movie. Nicholson is in top form (and top billing for that matter) as the fiendish, yet delightful Joker. Keaton gets nuts years before George Costanza as a brooding Bruce Wayne/Batman. The Danny Elfman/Prince soundtrack and Burton’s gothic vision are the icing on the cake.

While I was too young to first absorb this minor masterpiece in theaters upon its 1989 release I was living in the golden age of home video. Many repeat viewings on VHS tape certainly led to my adulation for the film. Any time we would visit my Aunt Ruth’s house I would end up watching a video in her bedroom. As I remember it, she owned three tapes: Batman, The Shining, and Star Trek IV. I was too young for Nicholson’s other opus, and an early love of the Next Generation had me prejudiced against the original Enterprise crew. Batman it was. Every….single….time…

If you were lucky enough to watch this film on VHS you will surely remember this vintage commercial:

My young brain proved susceptible to advertisement and so began my love affair with diet coke. I just had to have a refreshing can every time I watched Batman. I brought it school with me for lunch. I would chug it after exhausting physical activity. Anything I ate, I needed soda to wash it down. I would even make a point of choosing a restaurant based on the quality of their fountain diet coke. I was obsessed. Rock bottom came on one of my many trips through the McDonald’s drive through. $1 any size soda (largest they had of course), and two McDoubles. This was not my dinner, it was a snack.  I weighed nearly 260 pounds and was in the worst shape of my life. 

Of course diet coke, and other soda, was not entirely to blame for my poor health. Yet, if I had to pick the one thing that has contributed most to my weight loss, it would be giving up soda. I had made many attempts to curb my soda intake in the past. I would manage to stick to a plan for a few weeks, and then fall off the wagon. Once I was at my heaviest and committed to change I began purchasing soda in the half can six-packs. I limited myself to one half can with lunch and one with dinner. I thought I was on the right path but then I would go out to eat, and proceed to down a whole glass of diet coke, followed by at least three free refills. The after-meal bloating and caffeine jitters had to go.  

I have a very addictive personality. No matter what it is, the more I have of something, the more I want it. I decided that I needed to cut out all soda, cold turkey, no exceptions. Around the same time I was also reading a lot of research about the effects of aspartame. Artificial sweeteners leave your body craving the real sugar it was promised. This leads to more snacking throughout the day. One particular image was popping up a lot on Facebook. Whether or not it is all true is insignificant. It was enough to convince me to drop soda from my life.

The first six months or so were rough. Up until that point I had myself convinced that I needed to have something flavorful to drink whenever I was eating. I decided to swap in lemonade and other fruit juices in place of soda. As you can probably guess I gained even more weight with the inclusion of so much sugar. I tried several flavored waters, each worse than the last. Finally I decided to force myself to just drink plain water while eating. 

Once again the first several months were brutal. After reaching a certain point though it just became my new normal. It reminded me of some advice I once overheard on a brewery tour. In response to a visitor’s complaint that they did not like dark beers, the guide stated “if you do not like dark beers, drink more of them”. In my pursuit of a healthier lifestyle I have found this to be very accurate. Many of the foods that make up my daily diet were unappealing at first. Only after continued exposure did they become palatable, and finally enjoyable. 

I have found water to be a very useful tool at staving off hunger cravings. One article I read stated that if you are hungry within a couple of hours of eating a meal that it is more likely that your body is craving water than food. Sure enough I would tend to have these after meal cravings, and a bottle of water would do the trick. It has also helped to keep my late night snacking at bay.

There is also an economical benefit to swapping water for your soda. Water is free. Whether you are at a restaurant, or a residence, tap water is almost always an option. If you are fussy about your water like me, and choose to buy bottled, it is still far cheaper than soda. I tend to stock up at BJs, forty bottles of Poland Spring for five dollars. Bad for the environment I know, but I have a thing with reusable water bottles…a story for another time.

The real benefit of quitting soda was that it proved that I had the will power to give up something I loved for good. When I found myself struggling to make other healthy choices I would draw strength from this resolve. Coincidence or not I did notice myself having fewer and fewer cravings for snacks in the absence of soda. I have since lost 100 pounds and am in the best shape of my life. It was not all thanks to breaking it off with diet coke.  If you still drink soda though and find yourself struggling with weight loss, it may be time for a change. Diet Coke isn’t the hero anyone deserves or needs….